go away from me!

heyyall..........
urgh... main hari makin bosan pulak aq duk kt cnie...xtahu lh hai knp...... tension pun ad....
meluat,menyampah semua ada,,,, hahahaha!,,,,
tekanan jgak aq minggu nie,... aq sndri xtahu apa sbbnya tp tu lah y aq rasa sekarang,,alahai..menyampah!
...mungkin jugak sbb aq nie jenis xsuka nk bercerita mslh aq kepada orang lain.keep it save,lebih selmaat hidup aq... so pendam dlm hati lebih baik..bcerita.apa mereka boleh buat? none! meracun adalah nnty.aso better void it!..haha lg2 kes semalam.... aq xrasa pape pun..but 'kami' membisu secara tiba-tiba..hahaha.adakah tu pergaduhan?atau masalah berkecil hati??no i dont know.... still doubting each other?regret something? no i dont think so..i mean..i dont know lah.
...ok semalam ligat juga jari aq menaip msg.. hnya kerana gmbira menceritakan sesuatu y aq kire in a short term only. hope so xlah mcm tu kan.. aq harapkan ia will be last forever....ok  out of idea!!.. tension punye psl.rasa cm nk lari je.... mls nk tgok org..hahha nanty xpsal2... org bilang.''lau xnk jmpa org, p la duk lam hutan.'' ok boring... hari nie lunch. MENU? no.... empty lah menu2 nie. makan jela apa je y ada.
...dah dul lam community mcm nie..hai kne lah terima.what community? tah la.... hanya aq yang tahu,,, :D.. ok.mlm nie... aq ada double date.gler tension... mmg lah small matter tp besar sbnrnya mana xnya.aq n ne bg concrete reason y aq xboleh kuar dgn hamba allah nie..tp reason apa? dunno..out of idea.... tah hari nie menyampah... ok tu aja :)

help me out from here!!!!!!!!

  urgghh....... tension! menyampah pun ada kadang-kadang tuh. hahaha seriously i cant smile right now! sumpah tertekan.... apa tah slh aq. benci btul kt aq.aq pun xtahu lah...kepala otak sgt lah berserabut.....jiwa xtenang langsung,,apakah semua kejadian ini ada hikmah?yes it is! supposed think wisely before u start to open up your mouth.
 different cases with me... where i dont know the real source of my situation why i being like this. hari ini aja. aq rasa kosong sgt. sgt lah xbermaya...with my headache every day n each time im in the office ONLY! (noted it..ONLY,,,, i get bored with this situation.. bosan dengan office! bosan stay sini! menyampah dgn my surrounding seriously!... xtipu! bosan when u have to tickle back their heart sdangkan korang sendiri xtahu what uve gone wrong until they treat u like that... freak man.! xsuke lah......  obviously they cant hide from their smiling faces..how they hate to look at me! lalalalal!!!........
   do i care?? yes i am!!!!!..... i have to face them everyday!... i work with them! i need their guidance as i am a trainee.... despite by having ayaz by my side.. i still cant cheer my self up ! hahah i hate it ok!..i hate it so much when i have to wear a mask every second! coz of what?? nk poke3 lah hati mereka tu... gee... i am entirely not care of it! xkesah lah!..... and i wont retract my words back!! no..no i promise!....
 but for the time bieng nie lah kan... aq will try my best untuk x hard feeling toward them... even aq sebenanrnya such a very sensitive person!!!!!.. bila aq dh terasa.. haha smpi bila2 lah aq akan ingt kan...... tah la.... serabut untuk difikirkan... n aq kne lah try open cket minda nie,,,tuk take it as a positive things.... =,=
  hahahaha!!!!!!!........... tp aq moody bkn kerana hal ini ok....tp hal lain..y aq sendiri kne godek2 balik knp aq jd mcm nie.... cm mati jek jiwa... well talk bout it.... aq ad permasalahn y i need to see the ustaz!! lah.... i dont know where my spirit has gone... kne culik mayb,,, aq research tuk JIWA KOSONG mcm aq...puncanya knp.... nie dsebabkan tu adlah amaran dr Allah SWT atas dosa2 silam aq.... agar aq kembali ke jalan Allah dan mungkin juga kerana aq kurang ingt pd y esa.... mungkin selama ini ibadah y aq lakukan tidak ikhals dan sempurna...thats y lh kan... aq jd mcm nie...... even now im struggle hardly to become a pious person! aq nk dekatkan diri aq dgn Allah..tp masa tu belum tiba lg...which means.... aq kne lbih ikhlas lg dlm menjalankan ibadah di samping berusaha bersihkan setiap deria aq dari maksiat.yesh! insyallah.... i will try my best ..Aminn..

assalamualaikum... hey!  
hahahaha...... what a shiny day today.. haha mcm hati aku jgak y 'flower-flower' cm birds chirping in the morning!.. ha! btw! hari ini..ada syuhada di blik kami! :D..  mau stay this weekend sebab mahu ambik voucher rm200 1M tu :D
 Besides that, hati aq turut being cured by my MR Z.. (lovy-lovy) last night... hahah selepas tidak bertegur sapa about 1 day n a half...  we met and at the beginning,, he seems like get annoyed with me ..well, i forced to met him. hahaaha! .. dgn muka selamba aq nya..troossss msuk kereta n i think he got pissed off with me..mana tak nya kan..hahaha.... aq tanpa ada rasa bersalah... (dengan buat muka simpati).. tross ajak dia pergy mall.... hahahah... sdangkan kami masih dingin gara2 aq keluar makan dgn penyelia aq.... n balik lewat mlm... dah bos mau belanja kan....tu pun habuan dr hasil proposal y kami buat :D... 2nd, i get closed with his bff..  n he tried pretend that he's fine with it..... tp bila aq sebok melayan msg.... tau pulak dia nk tegur kan.... hahaha! ....
  hahahaha but at least i got to know him..... ok dia such a calm person ... (panas baran pun adlah separuh dr bdn dia kan ' guess so').....  he controlled his anger towards me. okie! i got it! i got it! no need tu pushed him anymore to told me the reason why he ignored me! :D .. yeah... its all my fault. im not supposed to treated him like that..... apa jadi pulak kalau dia buat mcm tu kat aq.. hahah UNACCEPTABLE!... smpai EAST COAST MALL,KUANTAN,,,, at the car park.... idea mencurah2 msuk dlm otak aq nie ha,, i must leave now! haah tu lah y bermain di minda aq.... while texting aliaa my syg..... reported that i hate the way he talked with me just now...ouh hurt sgt... but i still can smile..al maklum lah..syg tu menebal kan :D.. hahaah.....
 hahaha kebetulan jgak lah..di saat hari tgah lara menahan air terjun mayb haha.. aq tross keluar dr kereta... xdk masa dh nk tgu c dia pakai kasut...dengan langkah lajunya.... nk pergy dr situ..n balik bilik trus...  merajuk punya psl.... hahah supposed i should seduced him! not him! ..... dkat escalator... 'dub'.. ouh somthing hit my head...  ok =,= c dia.... hahahaha unexpectable..he running after me! haha smpi nak ikat tali kasut pun tak sempat.. on our way to cinema... kami berjalan like we never know each other. :) sesudah smpi ke destinasi y hendak dituju..hahahah mcm bru knl smula..malu2.... smpi he stepped on my foot pun minta maaf mcm im a foreigner!. urghh... i offered him tickets. but he refused... hahah (adakah mahu memujuk?)... no lah dia mmg mcm tu!... :D...
  thanks to Allah....dlm pggung lah kami rapat bila dia mintak my phone ... :).... layan ghost rider... hahahah cerita tu xdk lah horror sgt pun.... tp haha beria kan... y aq fly lg bila .... ' he love to know everything about me ' ....
adakah?? no lah... i turned out like this pun sbb perh fobia meyh... dlu kne tinggal.... ok past is past... but now is my future! :D ... on our way back...mula berckp from heart to heart,,, hahaha psl semua slh aq lah kan... fine! aq berubah lah pasnie kan... :) ....
   ok! aq mungkin nmpk happy..... but the truth is... i am sick! .... mayb 'hahahha' can cheer my spirit back.... if theres a chance for me tuk lepaskan semua nie..i will..hahaha tp tah masa tu xsampai lg..... they migh'sentap' with my words... maaf lah ...tiada niat lgsg tuk buat akak2 nie terasa.... btul lah tuh.... apa y ad d mydin... niat aq cuma bertanya..but they got touched! n aq lebih2 lah touched! untul today!!!!! n dont know bila akan back to normal again. :( ...urghh!.... aq terasa mcm disisihkan aja..... :( ....... tp tu dugaan ... asyik seronok jek..... bila pulak aq nk ingt kesedihan kan?? n now im into it!!!.... lalalalala........ mau nanges jek... tp tulah haha i am strong person man! :D dats y my MR Z.. laughed at me,,bila aq nmpk lemah in some matters y pd dia..tu semua small matters meyh... u can solve it syg!... tp lebih dihargai bila...  dye menjadi seorang pendengar yang setia! :D... sronok sgt..... with the best advices!... byk hal.... y aq mgadu...... last night...  n tuk menanges that surely not me! :D...
   i keep smiling .... sbb xnk nmpk muka nie dh mcm 40-an.... biarlah hati terluka,,, but i still can face it...slagi ALLAH with me.... aliaa zainal n my MR Z... di sini,,,,, tuk teman aq... if not.... hahahaha damn alone lah aq kan... mmg physco truss.... hahaha so.... whats next???...... just wait n c.... :(